More humor today as the Illinois State Quarter Coin reiterates the story of the mule’s depression at not going to heaven.
On July 16, 1904, the Nevada Daily Mail printed the story from Aurora, Illinois:
Mules Will Not Get To Heaven.
Their Ears Are Too Long and They Hear Things Too Far, Declares Preacher.
Aurora, Illinois, July 16.
Samuel Alschuler’s mule, which had just begun to perk up because he had his ear close to the telephone and heard of Judge Parker’s golden message, is again in the dumps. He has refused food since Monday morning and two Chicago veterinarians are in constant attendance.
The illness of the pride of the Alschuler stable is due to the report of a sermon which he found in an Aurora paper on the family doorstep. It was preached Sunday night by the pastor of the Advent Christian church and condemned mules. The minister drew his inspiration from Isaiah 11:6 7. He took the ground that heaven will be this earth purified.
“In this new and literal world,” said the preacher, “thorns and briars and tears will be rejected. All unrighteous people will be rejected. So God will choose and reject some animals. The lion, the king of the forests, will be there, bold and strong and brave, but tame and harmless. All people who will bravely defend the right and boldly condemn evil will be there. The good old horse and faithful cow and harmless sheep will be there. No animals are so profitable and render such service as these. Why should not be there? All people who will be God’s servants here will be kings over there.
“Among the birds the dove will be there; it is an emblem of purity and the Holy Spirit, and was the messenger of Noah in the Ark. All people who cherish purity, the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and who carry the gospel message to the unsaved will be there.
“The class represented by the mule, the skunk and the goat will never see the inside of the kingdom of God. People who are always stirring up strife or butting against every new proposition are favorable candidates for the other world.
“While the mule is known for his kicking propensities he has other misfortunes that will forever bar him from entering inside the pearly gates. He is extremely stubborn as some people are. He has great long ears and hears things a ways; they are big, too, they have all the news; some people are afflicted like the mules, it is a worse disease than the leprosy of olden times. People who have such a disposition will be doomed to eternal banishment.
“There will be no foxes or dogs there, they are too sly and treacherous. Modern politicians are sly foxes ready to pull any wire, stoop to any scheme. Cross husbands snarl and growl like dogs, they will need sweetening up if ever they join their angelic wives in the better world. The bill of the duck is too long to be accepted; he is sticking it into everybody’s business, meddling, a busy body, he loves to gossip. There will be no buzzard there for there will be no carcasses for him to prey on. People and writers who love to scandal as a sweet morsel under their tongues are buzzards. Friends, have your human nature changed by the converting power of God and get cleaned up for heaven.”
Isaiah 11:6 7
6 The wolf shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the young goat, and the calf and the lion and the fattened calf together; and a little child shall lead them.
7 The cow and the bear shall graze; their young shall lie down together; and the lion shall eat straw like the ox.
Now, if the lion can eat straw in heaven, perhaps the buzzard will eat berries and the mule will not be quite so ornery.
The Illinois State Quarter Coin shows in this image with a mule in the background.